


A Very Growly Baby

by EntreNous



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Bears, Gen, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-26
Updated: 2003-11-26
Packaged: 2017-11-26 11:45:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/650182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EntreNous/pseuds/EntreNous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In answer to a "Pangs" related question -- why <i>is</i> Spike afraid of bears?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Very Growly Baby

**Author's Note:**

> Written for misanthrope7842.

“Spiiiiiike,” he heard a whispered voice call from across the vast expanse of --

“Spike!” This time, it was hissed into his ear, accompanied by a painful pinch to his upper arm.

“Wha -- ” he snuffled, trying to move away from the long-nailed fingers poking and prodding at him.

“Open up your pretty eyes,” Drusilla’s murmur implored. “Come see -- the loveliest present!”

“Better not be another one of your carnies,” Spike snarled into the pile of hay covered only by sackcloth.

They’d been following the sideshow-cum-circus for a few days now, but the ever-changing flow of fresh spectators aside, the drawbacks had started to outweigh the easy pickings. Dru’s keen and morbid interest in the performers of the troop brought on a number of minor crises. He’d convinced her only yesterday that the “large baby” she wanted to take (“steal him away in the moonlight, make the foundling ours,” she’d cooed) was in fact a small man who would much prefer not to be the newest in a line of pets killed by her neglect.

“It’s ever so growly,” Dru sang. “I’ve brought you such a nice one, and you asleep.” He could almost hear the pout, and reluctantly pried his eyes open.

Pink. A wet flaring breath, sniffing at him, huffing down his torso. Liquid black -- huge black eyes curiously examining him. Spike went still.

“What is it?” he whispered fearfully.

“It’s the one what rides the little bicycle,” Dru whispered back gleefully. Her shoulders were at her ears as she clasped her hands in front of her face, overcome with excitement.

“A bear! You’ve brought a bear!” Spike shouted suddenly.

“Hush,” Dru admonished him. “Mustn’t frighten it. Unless you’d like to see his large teeth?”

“I can _see_ its teeth, Dru!” Spike said frantically. He tried to scramble backwards, only to be pinned by the large paw of the creature drooling on his chest.

“Poor lamb,” Dru said mournfully. “Found it wearing a skirt and a hat with ribbons and baubles. But it had no dollies. So I brought it home to play! This one will be our baby.” She nodded emphatically.

“Look here, Dru,” Spike breathed. He swallowed and tried to inch away from the bear. “Why not get the other one instead? The one you wanted the first time? Then this one can go home and play with its nice toys inside the cage. It’ll be much happier there.”

Dru brightened considerably. “Can’t we have both of the babies?’

“No!” Spike said angrily. He paused when the bear began to shift its weight onto his chest.

The bear leaned in a little closer, and calmly began to open its formidable jaw.

“Oh, he thinks you’re food!” Dru said fondly. She patted the bear’s rump lightly with her fingertips. The bear turned slightly and bared its teeth at her.

Spike took the opportunity of the bear’s distraction to curl himself into a tight little ball and begin rocking back and forth. “Get it away!” he pleaded as Dru shrieked and started backing away and muttering.

The bear swung its head back around and took in the tightly-furled body in front of him. Lowering its head, it waggled back and forth in a very unpleasant manner. It fixed one eye on Spike, and unrolled its tongue to give his cheek an experimental lick.

Spike’s hoarse cry, fearful and feral, rang out into the night.

Suddenly, the original “baby” under consideration slunk into the supplies tent where they were camped. Still in the giant diaper he sported for his act, he leaned against a beam, and lit a cigar coolly.

“Now what would two want with our Cyril?”he asked curiously. The puffs of smoke curled into the air, and Dru’s mutterings stopped.

“Cyril?” she inquired dubiously. “You make him wear a skirt.”

“Just get it -- argh! -- get it out of here!” Spike whimpered.

Cyril swiped Spike’s arm gently with his paw, leaving a quick trail of neat gashes from his claws.

“Oh, all right,” the man scowled. “But first . . . ” he paused delicately, clearly expecting some offer of remuneration for saving them from certain mauling.

“Don’t want to play like that,” Dru said petulantly. She morphed into her vampiric visage and leered at the man in the diaper, who quickly turned pale.

“What’s wrong with . . . you people are animals! Freaks! C’mon, Cyril -- let’s get you away from these monsters!” the man exclaimed.

Cyril sniffed Spike’s crotch indelicately. Spike gave out a small high-pitched cry. Then, casting a sidelong glance between the two frightened beings, the bear turned and lumbered after his anxious colleague.

Spike panted unnecessarily, trying to calm himself from the unsettling encounter. Dru burst into tears.

“Oh, the two babies are gone!”

“There, there,” Spike gasped out, rising to his feet and drawing Dru towards him as if to comfort her, but burying his head against her chest pitifully.

“Will you take me to a new place?” Dru asked, patting Spike absently.

“Yes. Yes, I’ll take you anywhere you want. Just no more bears, yeah? We’ll find you another kind of baby. A kind that hasn’t . . . such sharp teeth.”

“Or claws,” Dru said happily, poking at the gashes on Spike’s arms that continued to bleed.


End file.
